Today, as a Lasallian in the third half of my life, you and I are lovers. You are my inner mother, my feminine energy replete with care, compassion, concern, and confidence within my deepest self, closer than breath. It’s clear when you appear as a wise woman or my Anima in many of my night dreams.
You accept me as an equal in love; nothing I can do will make you love me more and nothing I can do will make you love me less. Wow. I am one with you and your Christ lives in me as me.
You are the energy of every cell of my being. And even more, you are the flow of energy willingly allowed and exchanged without requiring payment in return. You are the Source of me and in me. I am because we are. Help me be that source each day for this world of ours. It’s the divine flow. I am you here, and both of us are delighted.
You are the other me, and I am the other you. Most importantly, you love and live in all other humans and creation. They are in you and somehow in me.
I cannot fix this world, but I can only participate in its self-healing with all the circles of humans around me — my community, the Lasallian family, friends, and strangers everywhere. Loving you is the call that binds us as a community to do good in your world and mine.
My father taught me a lot about being in love with you. Dad spent so much time with me in my early years as we reflected together on what living on our imaginary farm might be like. Later, he helped me be my best at hitting and catching a baseball, still later by coaching my junior high school team, attending every game, and driving some teammates home after the games. He loved spending time with me, and I loved his presence. I never wanted to offend him in any way. He seemed to specialize in care, confidence, concern, and compassion.
Now, it seems there was nothing I could do to make him love me more and nothing I could do to make him love me less. He had fun in life and helped many people enjoy their lives. He did not take it too seriously and always had a helping hand. He wanted people to be well.
I learned a lot about you from his example, even without having had specific conversations with him about you. He mysteriously prepared me for being in love with you. He was your feminine face in my early life.
With open receiving hands, I often inhale, hearing you say, “I love you,” and exhale with open raised hands, hearing me say, “I love You.” I finish the exchange with an open hand and wide sweep to all the surrounding symbols and images of my life with another, “I love you.” Yoga and massage help give this prayer a more holistic and profound meaning as more of me is involved. In other words, my being increases as my receptivity to more profound meaning increases. Simultaneously, our love for each other grows.
Accompaniment
I find opportunities for receptivity in meeting people at Lasallian institutes, workshops, and seminars and as welcome guests to our community. I listen to their stories and experiences, and many want to hear my story. As a result, a bond is created between us — a willingness to work together. It is all profoundly human and, for that reason, deeply divine. In sharing our gift of attention and presence you are there. It is like in the gospels where people wanted to be near Jesus to share a meal, take a walk, have a lingering conversation. In the gift of presence. Jesus was offering them his heart and the courage to birth a new world. We do the same today.
Surrender
Another personal opportunity for receptivity is every Brother’s community, school, and organization I have ever served in or lived in has closed and is no more. It hurts due to all the blood, sweat, and tears, but somehow, by surrender, I am brought closer to you and, therefore, to my best self over time. Perhaps I do not need to see the results of my work in my lifetime.
Similarly, the end of the Lasallian Volunteers office and program after 40 years and 760 young women and men was challenging for me. I worked very hard to help them become part of the Lasallian family in the USA. Surrender is not the white flag, but accepting things as they are, listening carefully with you to the signs of our times, and being ready to give all my energy to address them.
Together
You inspired De La Salle and the Lasallian women and men who follow his example to form a community of people who belong to each other and feel a call to be together for a mission. It is your presence in our world. This is the core tenant of the Lasallian family, and without it, we are all in trouble. With it we are lovers committed to each other and yourself for the good of our world moment by moment.